Share your pain, share your joy, and especially share your love.

By guest blogger Natasha Raju

Terry Williams once said, “An individual doesn’t get cancer, a family does.” Two years ago, my mother lost her battle to breast cancer. She had been fighting against it for a year, and had successfully overcome it the first time she was diagnosed. However, seven months later she received news that the cancer had come back and spread throughout her entire body.

I was starting my sophomore year in college, stressing over midterms and trying to stay brave when I visited my mother. Looking back, I wonder why I even thought about choosing one over the other.

There are two things I learned from my mother’s battle: first, is that things always happen for a reason. In some twisted way of fate, there is a reason why my mother passed away and I am still searching for it. However, I do know that the person I am today is because of my experience with cancer. I learned to be stronger and know that there are things in this world that we have to overcome. There are people going through things beyond our imagination, and we should do what we can to make a difference for those in need.

The second is to always, always, live in the moment, and cherish the people you are with and appreciate them. So many times we take for granted the smallest gesture, whether it be borrowing sugar from your neighbor or sharing an umbrella with a friend in the rain. There are times I take it upon myself to make sure I tell at least one person everyday, “Hey, you are incredible! Thank you for being a part of my life.” I know it might sound silly, but you would be amazed at the response you get. Not only do you feel better, but you never know how much that small gesture means to someone else.

To say that I am still strong in my faith and have no qualms with my ordeal would be a lie. But, I do know that one day I will understand why things happened the way they did. For now, I will share the knowledge that life is short and we cannot live with regrets. There are people in our lives that don’t know how much we appreciate them, and we should let them know. Don’t wait for something tragic to happen in order to realize this. Share your joy, share your pain, and especially share your love.

7 Things You Can Do To Support Someone Through Grief

I have thought about writing about grief - either through a book or dedicated blog. I have had so much experience - not only with my own, but those of close family and friends. I have lost three family members in three years: my 28 year old sister to breast cancer in 2006, my 32 year old cousin (who was like a brother to me) in 2007, and his father (my uncle) in 2008. Prior to that in 2002, a close friend of our family lost her three year, little boy to A-typical SIDS.

The grieving process is very complicated, and everyone grieves differently despite background, circumstances and personality. There is no right or wrong way and no time table.

The worst time starts after the funeral. Before that you are busy (and distracted) with arrangements, visitors, etc. After the funeral, everyone goes back to their own lives and the silence can be deafening. While they are focused on their careers and families, you are left with the aftermath of tragedy.

When you offer to help someone, many times the person will say "no" or "not to worry about it", because they don't want to ask for favors, feel like they are inconveniencing anyone, or that the favor will come with a long visit they might not be up for. Here are a few suggestions to help someone you know who is grieving:

1. Send an e-mail or a card letting the person know you are thinking of them, and that you are there for whatever they need. Try to do this a few times a month.

2. Bring meals that can be left on the porch (so not to bother the person) and put them in a disposable container (so they are not worried with getting you your dish back).

3. If the person has kids, offer to babysit or take them to school. Many parents have said that grieving when you have children is harder because you don't have enough time to yourself and you feel you always have to be strong for (and in front of) them.

4. Offer to run errands and pick up things they might need.

5. Invite them to coffee, lunch or a movie.

6. Offer to go on a walk with them.

7. Just listen and validate their feelings. There is little you can say that they haven' t heard before or that will make them feel better.

There are many other things I could add to this list. Whatever you choose to do, be there for the long haul. The more devastating the loss, the more difficult the grief. It is a process that is constantly changing, and a journey that is exhausting and overwhelming.

Here is a link to one of the best articles I have read on grief (click here). Everything I have ever said to someone else (or heard someone else say) on the topic is mentioned.

Please share your own thoughts on grief in the comments section.

How I Honor Liz's Memory (Elizabeth Overturf)

Today is the third anniversary of my sister Liz's death. This day isn't harder than any other day. I don't think of her more today than yesterday, last month or last year. An anniversary is just the marking of time, and it's realizing that is has been three years since I last saw my sister that is difficult.

My family, friends and I talk about Liz every day - "Liz would have loved that" or "Liz would have thought that was so funny". She was such a bright light - a force really - who left such a strong mark, that it seems she is always with us.

Liz was misdiagnosed at the age of 23 and by the time a proper diagnosis of breast cancer came at 26, it was too late. That shouldn't have happened, and it doesn't need to happen again.

I honor my sister's life in many ways; creating this business, fundraising for cancer awareness and research and by being my own health advocate. I believe that by taking care of myself, talking to others about their health and sharing the information I have learned is one of the best ways I can use my life.

If you have lost someone close to you, how do you honor their life?

Photo Caption: Liz Overturf in 1999.

Shop for a Cause: Jenny's Light Offers Hope for Women Suffering from Postpartum Disorders

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." - Robert Brault

Jenny's Light (jennyslight.org) was created after the tragic and untimely passing of Jenny Gibbs Bankston and her baby boy, Graham Gibbs Bankston, on December 19, 2007. Jenny had suffered silently with postpartum depression and psychosis.

The name of the foundation was created to reflect the 'bright light' that Jenny was to everyone who had the privilege to know (or even just to meet) her. She was kind, caring, creative, beautiful, poised, and athletic. Her love of life was evident to all of those around her.

By raising money through Jenny's Light, the foundation will be able to help so many new mothers who suffer from this terrible illness. They want to shed light and increase awareness about the seriousness of postpartum disorders (PPD), and also educate and support women and families dealing with it.

With the money raised, they plan to help fund research, pay for distribution of literature in hospitals, become a key resource that women and families can refer to for information and support about PPD, set up more support groups, advertise, support chosen efforts, and help spread hope where so many hearts may feel desperate, desolate, and dark.

To support Jenny's Light by shopping, go to Uptown Liz or http://www.jennyslight.org/.

Brad Pitt, Gay Rights Advocate

Brad Pitt, actor, philanthropist, father of six and one half of Hollywood's hottest couple, is adding a new title to the end of his name - activist.

Pitt, whose new movie Burn After Reading was released on September 12, is taking a stand against discrimination by donating $100,000 to the civil liberties organization, Californians Against Eliminating Basic Rights, the group responsible for spearheading the movement to stop California's Proposition 8 from passing.

Proposition 8 is a California initiative slated to appear on the 2008 California General Election ballot and is designed to eliminate the right of same sex couples to marry. As of fall, 2008, same sex marriage is only recognized in California and Masschusetts.

Brad Pitt, who famously declared his intent to marry longtime girlfriend, Angelina Jolie, only after marriage became available to all Americans, is now one of the most visible proponents of equal rights and gay marriage.