Becky Lavelle of Jenny’s Light Interview (Part 1)

I first read about Jenny’s Light, an organization whose mission it is to improve and save lives by increasing awareness of all perinatal mood disorders including postpartum depression, from an article in the October 2008 issue of Glamour Magazine. The nonprofit was started (and named for) in the memory of Jennifer Gibbs Bankston, who after giving birth to her son Graham, suffered from postpartum depression, took her seven week old son’s life and then her own just days before Christmas in 2007.

I was surprised to find how much I had in common with Jenny’s twin sister (and one of the founders of the organization) Becky Lavelle. Becky and I are both runners (she’s a professional triathlete and 2008 Olympic Games alternate with the body to show for it, and I run marathons as a hobby when I feel like it), we were born 21 days apart (December babies), have mothers named Sandy, both live in Northern California, were married a year apart and tragically lost our sisters a year apart.

I know how helpful it has been for me to talk to others that have lost siblings and to share my sister’s story, so I contacted Becky and asked if she would be willing to share hers.

Ramona Russell: What was it like growing up as a twin?
Becky Lavelle: It was always like having a best friend. We did everything together, dressed alike most of the time (at least until junior high), had the same friends, did the same sports and activities, etc.

RR: How were you and Jenny alike and how were you different?
BL: We never thought we looked much alike but people had a hard time telling us apart when we were young. Our voices sounded almost identical, but our personalities were quite different. Jenny was always the more outgoing, extroverted, type-A one (although I usually did the planning, talking on the phone with our friends), she seemed to make people laugh a lot more than I did, she had this uniqueness about her unlike anyone I will probably ever know. Our family and friends always used to say “That’s just Jenny!” For example, if the whole family is up playing games at the cabin and it’s about 9pm and she’s tired, she just goes to bed! She was never afraid to do her own thing and was never really concerned about what other people might think. I was the more introverted, shy one (even though I was 16 minutes older too), laid back and mellow you could say, but more competitive in nature.

RR: Describe Jenny.
BL: Beautiful, caring, funny, charismatic, athletic, creative, intelligent, kind…she had a way of making people always feel comfortable around her and like they had known her forever. She also loved animals and always walked up to pet other dogs and talk to their owners. She LOVED to shop… it was truly her passion! I would shop with her but let her go through all the racks and she could always pick out the really cute stuff for us. She had such a great sense of style. And she loved home decor… she always wanted to be an interior designer and she would have been an amazing one! She was also very artistic and made numerous watercolors and canvas paintings, pillows, lamp shades… she was just always full of great creative ideas! She helped many of her friends with flower arrangements for their weddings and decorating rooms in their homes. She was always fun to be around, could light up a room, and just her presence drew attention and admiration. I was also always amazed at how friendly she was to random people, store clerks, waitresses, etc. She had so much patience with them and wasn’t afraid to strike up conversation with them.

RR: What signs did you see (if any) regarding Jenny’s postpartum depression?
BL: Jenny never spoke to us about how she really felt. The only outward signs we saw, looking back, were more frequent crying, trouble breast feeding (which can contribute to PPD), lack of sleep (she was definitely a sleeper and loved to take naps), she also did seem to lose the baby weight really quickly (she has always been thin though). We thought all of these things were part of being a new mom and adjusting to motherhood and having to care for a baby.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the interview.

Photo caption: Becky (left) and Jenny at Thanksgiving in 2006.