Becky Lavelle of Jenny’s Light Interview (Part 4)

To read parts 1, 2 and 3 of the interview, click here.

RR: Because Jenny had such a severe case of postpartum depression, do you worry about having a baby?
BL: I do a little, but I am obviously much more aware of what can happen and will have a very heightened sense of awareness, as will my family and friends.

RR: The grieving process is very complicated. What surprised you most about grief?
BL: The second year has been harder than the first. Last year seemed almost surreal, now the reality is setting in a little more.

RR: How have you changed since Jenny’s and Graham’s deaths? How has your family changed?
BL: I am definitely more emotional with many things, but also more open and more grateful for the things I have and the life I am living. I’ve learned to not take anything for granted, to truly “live” each day, and not be afraid to be happy. I sometimes say to myself, “What would Jenny do?” and I try to honor her by doing things she and I both loved to do, or going out of my way to help out a stranger, or smiling at a random person on the street, petting a stray cat, buying something because “I like it”, etc. I think my family has become closer, we talk on the phone more often, I try to see them as much as I can and they come out to California as much as they can. We all grieve in different ways and it’s sometimes hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but we all try to be understanding and lean on each other.

RR: What do you miss most about Jenny and Graham?
BL: Jenny’s laugh, her smile, talking to her every day, sharing my day-to-day activities with her, and just knowing that she’s always there for me. She still is now, but in spirit, and I know she will always be looking out for me. Graham was such an adorable little thing; he made the cutest little noises and was just so sweet.

RR: What do you want people to know about Jenny?
BL: She had such a big heart and a big smile and she was the most genuine person I know.

For more information on Jenny's Light, go to http://www.jennyslight.org/.

Photo caption: (From left) Becky Lavelle, Brian Lavelle, Chip Bankston and Jenny Gibbs Bankston.