Junior League of Sacramento Supports the Children's Receiving Home

The Junior League of Sacramento, an organization of women committed to promoting voluntarism, developing the potential of women, and to improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers, is hosting their annual crab feed "Denim & Diamonds".

Woodbridge Wines and Roy's Premium Barbecue will supply the wine and crab, and there will be a silent auction and dancing to the tunes of DJ Mic D.

A portion of the event's proceeds will benefit the Children's Receiving Home of Sacramento - a shelter for abused and neglected children of Sacramento County.

$40 for night out that includes crab, wine and dancing is a deal! In this economy, we are all watching our wallets a little closer; make the dollars you do spend count toward a good cause.

Denim & Diamonds

St. Mary's Catholic Church
1333 58th Street, Sacramento, California 95819
Saturday, February 7th at 5:00 p.m.

$40 in advance and $45 at the door

7 Things You Can Do To Support Someone Through Grief

I have thought about writing about grief - either through a book or dedicated blog. I have had so much experience - not only with my own, but those of close family and friends. I have lost three family members in three years: my 28 year old sister to breast cancer in 2006, my 32 year old cousin (who was like a brother to me) in 2007, and his father (my uncle) in 2008. Prior to that in 2002, a close friend of our family lost her three year, little boy to A-typical SIDS.

The grieving process is very complicated, and everyone grieves differently despite background, circumstances and personality. There is no right or wrong way and no time table.

The worst time starts after the funeral. Before that you are busy (and distracted) with arrangements, visitors, etc. After the funeral, everyone goes back to their own lives and the silence can be deafening. While they are focused on their careers and families, you are left with the aftermath of tragedy.

When you offer to help someone, many times the person will say "no" or "not to worry about it", because they don't want to ask for favors, feel like they are inconveniencing anyone, or that the favor will come with a long visit they might not be up for. Here are a few suggestions to help someone you know who is grieving:

1. Send an e-mail or a card letting the person know you are thinking of them, and that you are there for whatever they need. Try to do this a few times a month.

2. Bring meals that can be left on the porch (so not to bother the person) and put them in a disposable container (so they are not worried with getting you your dish back).

3. If the person has kids, offer to babysit or take them to school. Many parents have said that grieving when you have children is harder because you don't have enough time to yourself and you feel you always have to be strong for (and in front of) them.

4. Offer to run errands and pick up things they might need.

5. Invite them to coffee, lunch or a movie.

6. Offer to go on a walk with them.

7. Just listen and validate their feelings. There is little you can say that they haven' t heard before or that will make them feel better.

There are many other things I could add to this list. Whatever you choose to do, be there for the long haul. The more devastating the loss, the more difficult the grief. It is a process that is constantly changing, and a journey that is exhausting and overwhelming.

Here is a link to one of the best articles I have read on grief (click here). Everything I have ever said to someone else (or heard someone else say) on the topic is mentioned.

Please share your own thoughts on grief in the comments section.

How I Honor Liz's Memory (Elizabeth Overturf)

Today is the third anniversary of my sister Liz's death. This day isn't harder than any other day. I don't think of her more today than yesterday, last month or last year. An anniversary is just the marking of time, and it's realizing that is has been three years since I last saw my sister that is difficult.

My family, friends and I talk about Liz every day - "Liz would have loved that" or "Liz would have thought that was so funny". She was such a bright light - a force really - who left such a strong mark, that it seems she is always with us.

Liz was misdiagnosed at the age of 23 and by the time a proper diagnosis of breast cancer came at 26, it was too late. That shouldn't have happened, and it doesn't need to happen again.

I honor my sister's life in many ways; creating this business, fundraising for cancer awareness and research and by being my own health advocate. I believe that by taking care of myself, talking to others about their health and sharing the information I have learned is one of the best ways I can use my life.

If you have lost someone close to you, how do you honor their life?

Photo Caption: Liz Overturf in 1999.