Wear Your Fat Pants to The Chef’s Table

I’m a self-proclaimed foodie. I come from a long, line of gourmet cooks, and Liz could have easily been a competitive eater that still looked good in a bikini. Totally unfair. Nothing gets past my palette – nothing. I’m the one at the table that finishes the food on my friends’ plates. And yes, I have done this the first time I’ve met someone. Hey, sharing is caring.

So it completely works out that I have friends who own restaurants (two and counting), and that they are not too embarrassed to have me come in.

This was the case last night, when I went to The Chef’s Table, owned by my friend, Kay Hill, and her husband, the Chef, David. One look at the menu, and I knew I was done for. I wanted every, single thing on there, but there was no way 10 appetizers and entrees would fit at the bar (that overlooks Chef David at work). Considering the place is packed to capacity every night, I had to order only what would fit in my personal space. And my neighbor’s.

I proceeded to order and consume Beer Battered Pesto Fries with Gruyere Cheese, Sauteed Del Rio Botanical Lacinato Kale with Garlic and Malt Vinegar, Beer Battered Halibut Fish Tacos with Chipotle Cream, The All Natural Painted Hills Burger with Carmelized Onion and House Made Pimento Cheese with Dijon Aioli, House Made Banana Tarte with Chocolate and the Bacon Brownie. With cheese on my face and red wine stained-teeth (there were several glasses), my application to The Biggest Loser was the last thing on my mind.

The only thing Chef David did wrong is marry a vegetarian. Watch you talkin’ about, Willis? Well Willis, I’m talkin’ about his super gorgeous, business savvy, yoga instructor wife doesn’t eat meat. Which means she doesn’t sample everything he makes. SHAMEFUL. WASTEFUL. SADFUL.

Oh, Chef David, why? When you could have been just as happy with a less poised, less classy carnivore like myself.

For directions on how to run your rump over to The Chef’s Table, go to their Web site. Reservations and fat pants recommended.

Photo caption 1: Me with a wine-stained mouth with Kay Hill (left).
Photo caption 2: Part (yes, only part) of my fabulous meal.